I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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