I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
