Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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