I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
