It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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