yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
