So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
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I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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