She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
