If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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