The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
