I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
