hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
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It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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