hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
be right there i have to get my cape
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
