My liver just broke up with me...
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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