Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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