Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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