you turned your livingroom into a bong?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
