508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
