Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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