Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
