Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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