She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
