Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
he's gonorrhea incarnate
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
