Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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