hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
