You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
There's even glitter on my cock...
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