When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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