Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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