No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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