sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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