I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
