Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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