you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
