i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
