AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
