why im i the only drunk person in the library?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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