Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
