Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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