dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
