This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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