Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
