So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Two words: blizzard sex
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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