She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
