I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
