Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
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But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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