I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize
