bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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