By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
