Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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