omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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