So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
