called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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