oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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