Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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