Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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