why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
