i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I enjoy the company of your penis
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